sweet pain.........................

A translated story...

I went out to buy a water bottle. It was at about 5 in the evening. That’s the time when Minha crossed before me. She didn’t even raise her gaze. She just went where ever she was going. I didn’t look at her until her …….. I didn’t freeze. My heart beat wasn’t even faster. I didn’t felt cold on my hands and legs. People say that when we see the one we love we will know it. Brain will send signals to entire body. But nothing such happened to me. When I saw Minha first she was a simple girl. There was no tension. The time she was crossing my home, I came out. That’s all.

One day I went to villingili with one of my friend. When I got down from ferry dhoni and was walking towards inside the island, I was Minha coming towards ferry terminal. She was busy talking with some of her friend. She didn’t see me. I didn’t even look back at her. That’s all.

When I went to a funeral to one of mom’s friends place, I saw her again. That day I thought, she is the one I saw last two days. As we were strangers there is nothing to remember about each other. That time we both smiled at each other. That’s all
When I went to farewell one of my friend to Airport I saw her in the ferry again. At that time I thought… this is a girl a meet very often... Now I know that there are people who we will meet over and again. Even though I thought she was simple, there should be a reason or things that make me recognize her… You won’t love without a reason. What’s the meaning of that?? Without a signal from Minha, have I fallen for her? Will that also happen?? Love will start from one side, expressing it or not… accepting it or not is a different story.

When I was alone I started remembering her without any reason. If I tell the truth I have seen much beautiful girls than her. What I knew was that we don’t fall only for queens. The queen who rules the heart will be different for different people. The reason why she became so beautiful might not be able to tell even for you. But you can’t forget her.

With some excuse I started talking her. First it was just a casual talk. When we get closer and closer I found lot of qualities that I was looking for. I got a happy feeling as like I was talking to my girlfriend. Now I started missing her every time. Whenever am happy or sad, she was the first person to tell. Even if she doesn’t do the same thing, without a control I started falling for her.

“Do you have a boy friend” I asked. She didn’t answer to that question. One reason might be she had a boy friend and she didn’t want to hurt me saying that. The other reason would be she was single and she didn’t want to go out with me. May be she loved me more than her boy friend and she didn’t know what to do, might also be a reason. The last reason could be that she loved me and didn’t want to tell that.
As she was looking with a smile, I too smiled at her. I repeated the question and couldn’t get the answer. “Do you love me” I asked. With a blush she started laughing. But didn’t give any answer. I was happy that she didn’t say NO. I was even sad because she didn’t say yes. “I will find the answer” I told her.

She didn’t say that she love me. That wasn’t the problem. But if she doesn’t love me, why wouldn’t she say that? My hope didn’t go in vain because she didn’t say no and that was the reason my heart wanted to wait for her. It was the reason which forced my eyes to see some dreams. We were talking whilst we didn’t know what to name our relationship. Sometimes I feel like Minha is a very close friend. But sometimes she does things that make me feel she was my lover.

On Valentine’s Day she sent me a flower. On my b’day she sent me a key tag which has a heart in it. You can take any meaning out of it. Sometimes before doing something she let me know it. Not like asking for permission but rather like just informing. You can take any meaning. But I loved her and she knows it very well. She accepts whatever I sent to her. That doesn’t have to be that she was accepting my love. But my love for her was getting stronger and stronger. I was thinking that there won’t be a happier person than me. One year passed like that.

It was her 20th b’day. Her parents threw a party for her. I was invited for the party. That was where I met Minha’s boy friend. His name was Ahmed. “Here is the one you were looking for. My sweetheart.” She said. What would I say?? I got really sad. I thought with anger I would leave the party. I can do all that. But I don’t have the right to complain. I can’t say that she was a cheater or deceiver as she has never ever mentioned that she loves me. I just smiled and waited there. Only one question came to my mind. What kind of a thing is not to tell me that she didn’t love me? I will never know why she did that to me. I saw love from her side. May be I wrongly interpreted some of her behaviors or some of her actions. But I can only tell my feelings and my misinterpretations.

This is one side of the story. The other part is in her heart. In the same way I have only half of my heart in my body. The other half is in her body. It has been so many days since my heart isn’t beating properly. That is also something which you feel a sweet pain. It was my eyes and heart that betrayed me.

source haveeru

what people say............

It is very nice to know how people feel about you. I thought my blog would be rich enough if I can write something like this. So I sent a message to my entire contact list on face book and msn. It is nice to see that people reply by sending me whatever they feel. As we all know it would be very difficult to express what we feel for others, but still I appreciate for their reply…

I was surprised by few replies, because I didn’t know I was like that. From the all replies I got, I had a few things that I need to make correct myself. That was the important part, may be one of the best part in going ahead with an idea like this.

Unfortunately... in this writing I won’t be able to bring you from my family side as most of them are not on msn or face book. Most of my close friends are also out of reach in this context… but I will try to bring some of them and as well as students, classmates, friends and others too. Here I just write what exactly they say about me… with the same wordings..

Let’s start it from what my best friend says… He has been with me since childhood… in our group, team, club and every step of my life… he says that “well, I don’t think I can write all of it in my mind about you. But’ll try my best.... Hmmmm...Since my childhood u were there with me, sharing each and everything. And also u cared me as a brother although u r a close relative. Same way I shared and cared u, I guess... Ever since u r my closest friend, u helped me in almost everything, u advised me on every step of my life, u enjoyed with all my joys, u felt sorry for every misfortune in my life. So in short u r a good friend which is hard to find as diamonds. u r a funny buddy and a good adviser who cares his friends a lot. So u r THE BEST... and thnks for being such a friend and a brother. tc “…. Yea he was right… he did the same thing… am too glad to have a best friend like him.

One of my close relatives wife…. So my sister -in- law says “u are a person with gud heart, friendly & nice brohter to me ... u are cool man ... God bless u . .. Wish always happiness eagy .. tc “ These are the two people I could bring from that category.

The school days are some of the few days in our life that it would be difficult to forget as they are very beautiful days in your life… My class mates … they say “You are the best jadu jadu I have ever had....thankz buddy “ hehe.. that’s a name they call me because they got to know from me that it is a name called for a short eat in Maldives. Cool huh!!.

And “u r sweet n funny n wonderful n carin n creative friend i know ;) “. And another class mate said “u r decent ,smart n intelligent..wat else z dare den igu, u r still d same sinc i met u , cute frnd,i guess most f ppl who u knw, liks u alot, may b dts coz f d way u treat dem..n i luvu dnt tak it -ve, nt luv luv as a frnd, n last, 1day znt enugh 2 old enugh 2 b elder dan me,,,heheheh bi imsure ull get nice responses..... n 1 more thing, i like ur old hair style,curly wide hair ,,,,lol....”

There were three very close buddies in our class whom with I studied a lot together... and one of them says " well, u r the jud jud dho..just kiddin. ure very open minded person, open minded in instances where you should be, and conservative in where u should be conservative...very caring and always care about friends...and one thing i like about you is that you have a very good sense of humor even though you are a bit sarcastic sometimes.."

Since I came to Srilanka, friends here are some people who make my life worth here… I thank each and every one of them for their great support and the friendship they share with me… One of them… a girl who is like a sister to me quote “well i think ur one of the really cool guys i've met.its coz u respect people nd in turn u deserve the v.best in life.well ive known u 4 a year now.nd i think u really care abt ur friends i still remember u callin me up just 2 chk whetr evryting is allryt.u r one of dose people who try 2 make others lives comfortable.nd dats v.sweet.
yea ur sense of humour is missed by me in class.making silly comments nd making us laugh 4 no reason @ tyms.nd dats y u always try 2 occupy d bak seat nw i understnd. i relly wntd 2 have u around us nd it was sad 2 nt have u in my class bt im sure ull do well in studies there's no doubt.bt @ least ur in SL nd not gna stay in maldives so i cud c u my frend once in a way:)
i truly admire ur sense of honesty nd humility.nd im glad ur writn dis blog 2 improve ur skills.i shud strt One 2.It shows ur driven 2 succeed.nd hey ur English is good my brother,bt we always have plenty of room 2 improve.so keep it up. You confess mistakes easily.which is a true sign of nobility. Just write in ur blog my friends think im d best coz i say so.God Bless u “

A boy from the same class and is like a bro to me replied saying “....the bubbly Maldivian around Mercury...lol...Got to meet this wonderful brother in the MADM class which was my 1st class in Colombo.......At first sight I couldn't figure out what sort of a person he was, but found out that he was kinda popular around, with lots of people around him, making fun in the class and having a nice time. I was kinda alien to him at the beginning, so we didn’t have a chat 4 d 1st 2 days or so, but knew dat we come 2 d same class.
One good old evening after class, when the busses were crowded, when the roads were jammed, consequently both of us got into d same bus. This was where we spoke 4 d 1st time and wasn't it a memorable conversation. I was very shocked bout the openness of this guy. He told me almost everything about him. Hats off to u bro.... From that day onwards, this Maldivian bro has been one of those memorable people in my lives.
The way he thinks, the way he speaks, the way he moves around, everything has friendship embedded within it. I'm really greatful to go for giving me a friend ike u. He's been so supportive at times and I have heard and seen this guy heling out a lot of people around him, specially his other friends with their both personal and academic lives.
Really proud to have u as my friend brother. and Thanx a lot for all wat uv done to me all these days. Hope and pray that u succeed in all ur endeavors in the future.”

Another friend who I met in strategic class feels that am 1 bubbly character she have seen. And a guy who is very close has to say that “As long as i know you have been one of the best Maldivian guys whom i have met. But you tend to show moods to people at times... i suggest you to keep smiling at everyone and all the time (merit).” Thanx buddy letting me know it… hopefully you won’t see it again :D. His other half and one of the sweetest girl I met in SL and one of the closest buddy says "da nicest guy iv evr met after ....!!!!!! seriously.. sm1 who wont judge people but take them as they are.ur kind gentel perfect in evryway. "

My closest buddy in foundation and still a very close friend who treats me like a brother says "Hmmm...u hav a very friendly charactr......rarely gets angry......alwayz tryn to keep othr ppl hapy.....quite mature enough.......willin to help friends in al possible instances.........every bdy lyks to hangout wit u coz of easy movin charactr................. "

Some other friends from SL says….” Im siriusly think that u r a nice frnd ALWZ. u cn live n associate any1. I js rly dnt no abt u vry wel. Bt my opinion is u r a caring n sharing fnd. kp it” and one member from the “toxic” family says “you are a great guy brother....... i hope u never change..... “ while his girls friend replied saying “i've met you only once but i felt you are a very gentle soul and i hear you are a man of principles. keep it up. the world needs more people like you.” And finally from SL one who worked in our institution says “well i feel you are a Good and Understanding Friend.... very good qualities... willing to help others.... and you are very handsom, naughty fun loving down to earth person”

One of my co-worker said “u r the MARS chocolate bar at contracting....in short the 'energy' “. Another friend says “you are a cool n great guy! and a very friendly friend. :D n u know how to make people laugh! “

Now it comes to my students …i.e. the students I taught in tuition class… most of them were really great and are still in touch and doing very good in life. One of the girl who got second place from the entire Maldives top 10 says “u r da best teacher a student cn ever wish t have.....a frend whose worthy than nyth on da earth......u r always there wen i nyd u.....sharing ur views nd opinions n guiding me thru da tough days......ill never frgt those sms u sent me during o levels.....they wer one thng dat kept my confidence other than ur valuable advices.....u will always b someone close t my heart( evn tho i dnt get much chance t tok t u nw ) knowing u was kinda blessing fr me....so thanx a lot fr evrythn sir......( alsu words really cnt xpress hw i fyl abt u )”

while another girl who is very close and nice says “well....ur ONE of my fave teachers.not just sayng this... as a friend,ur really kind,trusted..well..ur great listener u know :) i know ur a very caring peron.and most importantly u understnd others feelings wich i love most. i wish u a very bright future..and im really happy i got a friend like u.”

Finally a boy whom I know before I taught him… and is a friend of many of my friends and mine too said “canadian people are good friends of ma family you came for studies and accommodate in one of ma cousins house..you were a great guy who got a nice girl so that a neighbouring friend had a crush on her and we almost had some missions to make you in trouble but later on we realised that you are a great friend and teacher who thought me maths ...and some of ya student almost liked you..keke “

These are what people feel about me... What they say about me… everyone has a different view… that’s how it would be… but I am thankful to each one of you spending few minutes of your time to write something for me…

I really feel great and lucky to have all of you in my life… we might sometime not be in touch … we might not express our feeling towards each other.. We might forget things… but am sure I will not forget such a great people in my life and will be always there with me…

"TOXIC"................

It started beginning of January. I was told by Shehan that some people wanted to meet us regarding their class party or something. We went and met them and decided to change it to a big party from a small class party. There the idea of Mercury Night 2009 came into being. With the approval to go ahead we started our work. It was named as “TOXIC” no way out till March.



With few people known in the organizing committee we started the “BIG” project of the year. It was such a big project that we decided to have it on February 28th. Almost after two months. We had to find out Sponsors and Banners to support it. We tried our best to get as many as sponsors so that we could pass the benefit to the students by reducing the ticket price.



As I am not from SL I don’t know much places to go for sponsors. So I was just a mere body inside when it comes to sponsor meetings. I was given the biggest responsibility of a Treasurer by Mr.Kamal. We had so many meetings and we were like 24/7 at Mercury. We went so many places in search of sponsor. We spent so many times together and it was really fun. We got to know each other better with some small fights between the members.



It was less than two weeks and only one sponsor was confirmed with some few banners from here and there. We were so worried that we thought the party might be a flop but still we didn’t lose our spirit and worked hard. We were able to convince ACCA to be the main sponsor and with that we were sorted.


The party was a great success with about 200 people and a good profit. It was the most happening party. Everyone enjoyed being in the party. We, the committee members were so happy to see that our great effort made it a success. Thanks to everyone, the sponsors and the banner providers, lecturers, Mercury institute and the students.



“TOXIC” made a big change in our life. It made me get very good friends and made the close friends to get closer. It made things turn in a happy way for many of the participants. I miss the times we spent together. I miss you all, the “TOXIC family” .It was great.